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Lyn Fairchild Hawks

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Author Head Shots: Embrace ‘Em, Wholeheartedly

Lyn Hawks · May 1, 2019 · 4 Comments

“We’re afraid that our truth isn’t enough–that what we have to offer isn’t enough without the bells and whistles, without editing, and impressing.”

— Brené Brown

I keep yanking at this new line in my face, one that popped about a week ago. Apparently I can Botox things away with a finger. I don’t feel worthy of a mirror, and I sure don’t feel worthy of an author head shot.

Teresa Porter, my fabulous photographer of My Friend Teresa Photography, she’s truly magical. But she’s not God, right? I mean, I’m six years older than these last shots (which were Goddess epic). The woman can only do so much. I am FIFTY. Right?

Between that self-flagellating thought and the brain fog, the searching for my glasses and trying to remember whether I took my Allegra, I sometimes don’t even recognize myself. My young, impatient self back in the day, hating on “slow” and aged people who didn’t match my pace, my needs, my expectations–where the hell is she?

The barrage of self-incriminating questions beats at your self-confidence as you head out on a shoot.

“Nobody told me there’d be days like these…

Strange days indeed — most peculiar, Mama”

— John Lennon

Whenever whatever bit of yourself you found beautiful begins to wane, a woman faces the question, “What am I worth if my body doesn’t ‘work’?” (And if you don’t ask yourself these things, Amazing Lady Reading This, I bow to thee. I feel like I’ve been told by America at Large since I could find a mirror that something was always off. That me as is just isn’t “enough.” Nose too big. Hair too frizzy. Chest too flat. Too tall. Acne, oh, acne. Mark on my front tooth. One eye bigger than the other. And now, wrinkles. Sags. Puffiness. Jowls.)

I know, shut up.

Brené Brown talks about wholeheartedness as the opposite of scarcity. Not abundance. Wholeheartedness.

What if I, instead of seeking an abundance of smooth, tight skin or glow-in-the-dark teeth, I just said, I AM ENOUGH? Gave Lyn As She Is a big ol’ hug?

I guess we’re all Hamiltons at heart, wired to never be satisfied, many of us with immigrant forebears who traded up while they doubled down on the dissatisfaction with their homeland.

But even if we have the power to make new nations, we can’t hate the old stuff. We can’t hate our history. We are our forebears, our childhood, our adulthood, our yesterdays.

“Yester-you, yester-me, yesterday…”

– Stevie Wonder

Did I say I was 50? Which means I’ve earned every fantabulous line on this face?

Teresa’s job is not to tighten my lines or smooth my edges. Her job is not to Kardashian the age off my skin and leave me and the world thinking I’m all of 35. No.

Her job is to make my heart leap from my eyes and shine from my face.

Her job is to catch me at that relaxed moment when the soul takes a breath.

And knowing Teresa, she will.

Ladies, you are worthy. You’ve earned every dent in the skin.

I don’t have to be perfect.

I won’t try so hard.

I won’t worry so much.

I’ll enjoy my photo shoot.

I will embrace this life as is with a whole heart.

This is a Lyn Selfie. Teresa Magic coming soon to a blog near you!

Filed Under: Publishing Tagged With: author, Brene Brown, head shot, publishing, scarcity, Uncategorized, vulnerability, wholeheartedness

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Comments

  1. Elizabeth Simmons says

    May 1, 2019 at 8:46 am

    What a great reminder to love the wrinkles it took us so long to earn.

    Reply
    • Lyn says

      May 1, 2019 at 8:53 am

      I’m glad I have a friend like you to remind me what matters in life!

      Reply
  2. Teresa Porter says

    May 1, 2019 at 9:37 am

    A persons true beauty comes from the sparkle in the eyes, and the moments in between “the pose”. Today will be easy, all we have to do is have fun and stay out of our heads :). Excited to see you tonight!

    Reply
  3. Lyn Hawks says

    May 2, 2019 at 9:23 am

    It was so easy and SO. MUCH. FUN. Love you!

    Reply

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About me

“author

(Photo by My Friend Teresa Studios)

Could I live without words, writing, story? Probably not. I love telling stories. I love teaching stories. I love helping other people find theirs. That’s my story. [READ MORE...]

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It’s so wild to read this developing news when I It’s so wild to read this developing news when I knew in my gut back in 2012 and 2013 that something toxic this way comes… In other words, the relatively new obsession back then with phones was not only toxic to teen mental health, but also dramatically altered my conversations and daily interactions. I remember being made fun of because I didn’t have an iPhone in 2016. In my most recent young adult novel, Minerva struggles to keep up with social media, and feels horribly inadequate looking at the way some peers use it. She feels horrified at the bullying, but she can’t look away. She feels conflicted because someone who wants to be a journalist needs to pay attention to social media, right? Something’s gotta change, but how? IRL this author has begun leaving the phone in other rooms so that it can be forgotten. I am trying to invoke some kind of mantra that says, “It’s OK to not be connected all the time. It’s OK to not be on emergency alert just because an emergency *could* happen or news might be breaking. It’s OK to not be hip, or in the know, or constantly available, or the recently evolved/expected version of a ‘good’ person who should respond in a nanosecond to all possible crises.” And I wonder why I’m more anxious than I was before I had a “smart phone”? I’ve turned off notifications. I look at social media less. I am happier.💜💖💜
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I love a good journalism movie. I love it especial I love a good journalism movie. I love it especially when female journalists are the focus. Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey ought to be household names. I also thought that these three words from this Slate review–“persistence, persuasion, and pleading”– really do sum up the job of a journalist, trying to get the story, build trust, and out the truth. Now I need to read the book!
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2013. @ nervesofsteel is set in that time, when ce 2013. @ nervesofsteel is set in that time, when cell phones went from maybes to mandatory in teen life. Ezra Klein’s most recent podcast delves into the research about the effects on teen girls’ mental health from social media and constant online engagement. My book tells a story that begins on Instagram and ends on Twitter. 
#bullying #metoo
#mentalhealthawareness #yalit #historicalfiction #2013 #books #book #youngadult #mentalhealth #truthwillout

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